Live for now, Love forever
by EvilGirlLovesWriting
Summary: He has never loved anyone, not really. She never really got the chance. He is a vampire. She is just a bit more. He has hunted humans for a great part of his life. She has been hunted since she was born. Now they find each other and fall in love. The question is, will the world let them love, or will their lives be useless? Jasper/OC
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer: I do not own anything from the twilight series**_

_**Autho****r's note:**_

_**Hey everyone,**_

_**So I know I'm busy with three stories now and have already put one on hold. I'm not doing that with the boondock saints, I promise, I'm just really busy these weeks because I'm nearing the end of my school year and all. This story I still had saved on my phone and my friend, who read it, told me to post it online because she liked it a lot. I don't know if you guys will like it, but I sure hope.**_

_**In short it's about Jasper falling in love with my character, Mia. Alice and Edward are together, and Emmett and Rosalie plus Carlisle and Esme. If you don't like these pairings I am sorry.**_

_**It's just the first chapter. I have nothing of the next chapters yet. I first want to know what people think of this chapter and if I get enough favorites and reviews I will continue. The continuing might take a bit longer than normal, like I said, I am very busy.**_

_**Anyways, thank you so much for taking the time to read this! Please review and let me know what you think!**_

_**Love,**_

_**EvilGirlLovesWriting**_

Chapter one: Why?

I didn't know why I deserved this. Why I even got a chance at meeting her. I've done so many horrible things in my life, killed so many innocent people. Why then was I allowed to look at such an angel, because that's what she was. I had died. That would be the only explanation I could think of. I'd died and went to heaven. There were however two problems with that explanation. First of all, I think I would've noticed being ripped apart and burnt to ashes, being a vampire and all. Second of all, there was no way in hell that if I actually had miraculously died I would've wounded up in heaven. Nope. Not a chance. So what the hell was going on then?

The day had started out fairly normal. Edward, Emmett and me went out hunting around 4 in the morning and got back to get ready for school at 7. Alice had told everyone it would be a rainy day so we would be safe and Carlisle went to work early. Nothing special there. Esme gave all of us a kiss before we left and told us to be safe, nothing special there either.

I remember getting sick of Rosalie and Emmett's sweet talk, which I could hear from the other car. Even though it seemed like they were alone, it didn't mean they were. They never took any notice to that though and so I was always hearing things I didn't want to. I felt sorry for Edward, who would have the same feeling only tripled because he could hear thoughts as well.

I was waiting for a bitter laugh that normally escaped his lips when I thought something like that, but he didn't laugh this time. I soon figured out why and closed my eyes rubbing my temples. They say vampires can't get headaches, that proves that they've never sat in between two couples that were sweet talking each other. My own gift of being able to feel what they were feeling wasn't really helping either. I didn't understand why Alice had to say everything out loud when Edward could hear her thoughts anyway, no need for spoken words. I felt another wave of love and lust coming from both couples and I wished we would arrive soon.

It's not that I hate what they're feeling. I'm glad they are happy together. But sometimes I just wish they weren't this obvious about it. I wish they would keep their feelings to themselves. I've never had those feelings for someone. I thought I'd loved Maria but if I compare that to what these were feeling, it was just a droplet of water in an ocean. I mulled over those thoughts a moment, so I wouldn't focus on the couples around me.

The moment we arrived at school I practically jumped out of the car. 'I am driving to school alone tomorrow!' I warned them, only half joking. I wouldn't mind, but there weren't a lot of cars we had that wouldn't be too conspicuous. 'I wouldn't be too sure about that.' Edward said, answering my thoughts in the way he usually did. I raised my eyebrows and looked in the direction Edward was looking in. Something had caught his attention, and I didn't have to guess what it was. There was a dark red Lamborghini sitting in the parking space next to the cafeteria. It stood out against the rest of the cars, which were mostly old, crappy, handed down cars. We never had seen such a car at school before, actually none of the students had. That's probably why there was a huge crowd hanging around it, admiring it. Emmett let out a low whistle, 'Damn... wonder who that belongs to.' He said. That was what we were all wondering.

The first lesson Edward would be sitting next to me, the second and third Rosalie was there. Rosalie could be a real nag sometimes, but she was quiet and knew how to keep her emotions in check most of the time, which made sitting next to her a lot easier. They never said it out loud, none of the family members did, but the reason I was accompanied in most of my classes, all but one that is, was to make sure I wouldn't kill everyone. Or at least so there would be someone who could try and stop me. It happened a few times in different schools. Like I said before, I killed a lot of innocent people. They never blamed me too much though, except for Rosalie but she only got mad because she knows how guilty I would feel afterwards. Wallowing in self pity, I was good at that. Rosalie wasn't a nice girl. She could be annoying, but so could the rest be. The thing about her is that she doesn't like humans, jealousy I guess, and is annoyed with the gifts Edward and Alice and I have a lot. She wants privacy sometimes and knows she can't get it around us. She does care for us though, we are family.

We walked to the cafeteria together, drawing stares from freshmen and some other kids. We didn't take too much notice to them though, we were quite used to being stared at. Throughout the year really. Humans liked to talk about us too. We have to laugh about the things they come up with sometimes, Edward's gift can be very entertaining if he uses it to fish gossip from their minds.

We sat down in our usual spot, in the middle of the cafeteria, with the rest of our family. We talked a bit but eventually the conversation came to an end. Not like we minded, quiet was good. There were certain things you just couldn't talk about in a room full of humans. Especially with an unstable vampire like me anywhere near. Edward was about to protest against my thoughts when suddenly I felt a peak of utter shock and disbelief coming from my left.

I looked up at the door where the person with the feelings probably had just come through. I had been expecting to take a glance and see nothing wrong after which I could turn back again. My intention was disrupted however the moment I saw the girl the feelings had originated from. That's when my 'angel' thoughts had sprung up.

The girl was beautiful, nothing short to beautiful, even in vampire standards. She had wavy brown hair that reached to just below her shoulders. There were natural blonde highlights in them which seemed to accentuate her angelic features even more. Her eyes were the brightest color of green I had ever seen, with a sparkle in it that would've made my dead heart start beating again if that were possible.

She was staring straight at our table and our eyes met for the briefest of seconds, then she spun around and stalked away from the cafeteria, waves of shock and disbelief still rolling from her. When she was out of sight I looked up at Edward, who was frowning in the direction of the corridor.

'I can't read her.' He answered to my unspoken question of what she had been thinking. 'What?' Rosalie asked in shock, a hint of amusement in her voice. She didn't always like his gift so she liked to hear he had limits. Edward shrugged the tone off and looked every one of us in the eye, lingering on mine.

'I can't read her mind.' he paused a second. 'Jasper noticed shock and disbelief coming from her, but I can't read her mind to see where it's coming from.' Alice sighed, something vampires didn't do often. 'I don't see anything happen yet, but when she spotted us she immediately turned around and left. Do you think she knows?'

'I don't know.' Edward said with a frown. I could feel the frustration of not knowing what she was thinking emitting from him. He always said that humans didn't really have such interesting thoughts but knowing if they were on to us or not was useful. The fact that the girl who'd just turned around when seeing us could keep secrets was making all of us wonder about if she knew or not. I looked back to the corridor where she just left through. I hadn't noticed any fear coming from her so the chance that she actually knew what they were was slim.

'We can't be too careful Jasper.' Edward said in a serious tone. I nodded. I knew that they wouldn't want to leave. Emmett, Alice and Edward had all made human friends, though they weren't great friends because it was hard to be friends with creatures you want to kill every minute of every day. Rosalie wouldn't care really, and I wouldn't have either, until today. There was something with this girl that made me want to get close to her. Made me want to get to know her better and to understand what thoughts lay behind her emotions.

I felt caution coming from Edward and I knew he was sending his emotions towards me. I wasn't too controlled around humans yet, not like they were. I knew I had to be careful, and this time not just because our cover might be blown. This time because I knew that if I ever hurt this girl in any way, I wouldn't survive. The feeling was so strong that I knew it to be true, Edward's surprise did not go by unnoticed, but I did my best to ignore it. The bell rang, it was time for class.

I sat alone, like I have been since the start of the year during history class. My family was fascinating to the students, but their instincts still tell them to stay away from us. I didn't mind really, sitting alone was better than any human taking place beside me. I'd rip out their throats before we even would've gotten to the introduction part. Now however the main advantage I had of sitting alone was being able to let my mind wander. The first thing that popped into my head, or rather had never left it, was the girl from before. What was her name? And why did she move here? Did she make friends already? What was she thinking when she saw us, and what does she think of me? I was so caught up in my questions that I didn't notice someone had taken the seat beside me until class started.

The teacher started out with an introduction of a new classmate. I wasn't really paying attention, until he asked the new student to come up and introduce herself if she wanted. 'Nah that's alright.'

The voice had come from my close right. I turned my head slowly, knowing that if I tried to do it any faster I would do it at vampire speed. She was turning the pages of her textbook casually, glancing at every page for less than a second. When she felt my eyes on her she looked up, curiosity dominating her sparkling green eyes.

The same sparkling green eyes that had looked at me and my family in the cafeteria not so long ago. I could feel she was being cautious with a mix of open curiosity, the same her eyes had shown. The teacher had started his lecture but the words flew right by me. I had lived history so if he ever asked me anything I could probably answer in more detail than the book could. He never did though. No one ever asked me or my family questions during class. We received straight A's so it was obvious we knew the answer, no need to ask. Right now however the words didn't even reach my ears. The only thing I heard was the slow breathing of the girl next to me. She smiled and I swear that for a moment I felt my heart actually beat.

'Hi,' she said with the same clear voice she had used to answer the teacher. It sounded like the soft bells around the necks of Santa's reindeers, so beautiful. I kept staring at her a few seconds, which was long in vampire time, and felt a smile tug at the corner of my own lips.

'How do you do?' I asked her tipping my head forward. I could only just stop myself from touching my hat, which I wasn't wearing. I must've looked like a complete idiot. I could've slapped myself, only vampires don't do that. No one talked like that anymore, at least not in high school. I felt around to see if I noticed any signs of uneasiness coming from her, but I didn't. Instead she giggled and smiled.

'I'm doing fine, thanks for asking.' I tipped my head again as a 'you're welcome' gesture. I gritted my teeth at the motion I'd made all over again.

'What's your name?' She asked, the same curiosity still hanging around her, like a cloud of mist. She was talking softly, not wanting to interrupt the teacher I guessed, though he would probably not even have noticed a meteorite crashing through the roof followed by superman. When he was giving his lecture, he was preoccupied, to put it lightly. Students all around us were having conversations, which was good, it meant they weren't paying all too much attention to my odd ways.

'Jasper.' I said with a polite smile still on my lips. Her green eyes looking straight into my golden eyes, I almost forgot about everyone else in the room. No not almost. I forgot about everyone in the room. Normally I had a hard time dealing with history class. The other students sitting around me, their scents filling the classroom. Their heart beats ringing in my ears, as well as the soft flow of warm red liquid streaming through everyone's veins. It was torture. The fact the lesson was boring didn't help at all, it only gave me more room to let my thoughts wander, mostly to the students. Today however, they had wandered to this girl. It was strange. Not only that this girl was able to keep me from thinking about it, or able to make me forget about it with just one small movement, one batting of an eyelash, one hair falling in front of her face and her hand moving to get it back into place. How much I wanted to do that for her. It was weird that I was feeling as if this girl was my world. Everything I had ever lived for.

'Would you do me the honor of telling me your name please?' I asked her after all my thoughts had passed in less than a second. She smiled again, still not weirded out by my formal way of speaking, or my stares. Because that was what I believed I was doing, staring.

'Mia,' she said still smiling. I said it out loud, too fast and too low for her to hear. The name sounded so natural and at the same time so extraordinary.

'That is a beautiful name.' I said which made her smile widen, and my dead heart rate quicken.

'It's short for Mianella.' She made a face, a hint of disgust in her voice.

'It still is a beautiful name.' I said with all sincerity. Surprise rippled through her but she kept her smile in place.

'That is very nice of you.' She said. 'I think Jasper is a beautiful name too.'

If it had been any other girl it would probably be meant mockingly. A boy wouldn't want his name to be called beautiful. But Mia's sincerity, and the fact she had said my name out loud, made my own body shiver pleasantly.

'Thank you.' I said. The bell rang suddenly and it surprised me. The lesson couldn't yet be over right? We hadn't talked that long at all. We must've been though because everyone was getting up and leaving. She did as well. I didn't, wanting to take her in for as long as I had left. I followed her movements with my eyes as she put her books in her bad. When she was ready she turned to me and waved slightly.

'It was nice meeting you Jasper. I hope I'll see you around more!' She turned around and started walking away.

'Mianella.' I said softly. I froze in shock at what I then saw. It was a small movement, miniscule even, but it had been there. For a moment she had been inclined to turn around at the sound of her name. That was impossible however, I had said it too soft to hear from the doorway. I laughed at that thought, it was almost as impossible as me being able to ignore my bloodlust around her. The blood pumping in her veins, how easy it had been to ignore it. Easier than anything I had ever encountered. That's probably because...

Instead of freezing, this time I got up in a hurry and ran out of the classroom with my bag slung over my right shoulder, trying to go at a human speed, which is harder than it sounds. I called out for Edward in my mind, as loud as I could, knowing he would hear me.

COME MEET ME AT THE PARKING LOT NOW. BRING THE REST.

Edward would have his next lesson with Emmett and Rosalie so he could bring them. Alice had her lesson with me, but she had probably already seen I wasn't coming. I shook my head and laughed at myself. How stupid of me not to notice it before. The feelings of disbelief and shock in the cafeteria, the way she didn't chicken out at my formalities and the feelings of total horror when I had called her name and had thought she'd almost stopped. The reason I was never tempted by her beating heart was as clear as daylight and I could not believe I hadn't noticed it before. Her eyes had had me fooled. In the back of my mind a voice was still saying it was impossible that she was wearing contacts, such beauty couldn't be recreated by those filthy things, but I ignored it. She just had to be wearing contacts, how else were her eyes green? If her heart wasn't beating, than her eyes could only be two colors. Red, or gold. She was hiding one of the two behind those contacts, and I wanted to know which one.

'What did you do?' Rosalie snarled at me when I was with them again, beside our car. They'd all come, as I had asked them to. 'Rose calm down.' Emmett said, placing a hand on her shoulder. 'If he had done anything wrong we would've noticed by now. Probably by hearing screams and stuff.' I felt Emmett was mocking me but ignored it. 'That's not why I asked you guys here.' He took a pause and both Alice and Edward gasped at what I was going to say. 'I hate it when they do that.' Rosalie muttered. 'She's not human.' I said then, ignoring Rosalie's words completely. A group of four vampires looked at me in surprise, which is not something that happens often.

_**Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed it, please review!**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Disclaimer: I don't own anything from the twilight series**_

_**Author's Note: **_

_**Hello everyone,**_

_**I'm sick at home and was bored to death so I wanted to do something, which resulted in this. I hope you like it and it's not a disappointment in comparison to the first chapter.**_

_**Please review,**_

_**Love,**_

_**EvilGirlLovesWriting**_

Chapter two: Special

I've always been popular. I was popular in the village I lived in as a child and I still am in every high school I go to. Everyone seems to want to know me and that is not always a good thing. I've learned that the safest way to live, is in the shadows, but staying in the shadows for too long drives you crazy, and that's one thing I can never become. If I go crazy, that will be a disaster.

Coming to this town called Englebird was nothing new. I was expecting the exact same thing I'd experienced the times before. Meeting new people and becoming friends with some, trying to keep them at a distance so they wouldn't find out too much about me, being careful and keeping out for anything that looked even remotely suspicious, the usual.

You see, I'm not what you call normal, in any sense of the word. Even though I seem to fit in perfectly, I actually don't fit in anywhere. I'm an anomaly, never supposed to have happened. That's what my grandfather called me as a child, before he started hunting me that is. Afterwards I haven't really spoken to him anymore. That's what trying to kill the other party does to your relationship.

In short, most people, when finding out what I am, hate me for some reason. I never had really cared, I was used to it in a way. I knew how to keep hidden and when someone was on to me, or close to that, I would just run away. That is not cowardice, that is being smart. I guess that's one of the few times my powers do come in handy. I never use them though, unless it's absolutely necessary. That conviction has been killing me since yesterday. Since I saw him.

So my first day at my new school. I had already made some friends in class and was looking out to lunch where I didn't have to pretend I was listening to the teacher who wasn't telling me anything I didn't know already, maybe even better than him. The moment I walked into the cafeteria though, I froze. At the table in the middle were the five most gorgeous humans I had ever seen, probably because they weren't human.

Five vampires and all of them turning to look at me because one of them notices something strange about me. The blonde one, my senses tell me, I look at him and our eyes meet. Suddenly I feel lightheaded and turn around, stalking away in the opposite direction.

No. way. There is just no way. How was he here. When did..., my thoughts went just a bit wild.

If you would've told me that vampires could feel sick, I wouldn't have believed you. But right now I was feeling very close to sick. On the other hand my stomach seemed to be making back flips in excitement too, so I wasn't too sure what I was feeling.

I'd seen him in my dreams, correction, I'd seen him once in a dream. Exactly the same. The eyes, the hair, the face. His own perfect self. In that dream I'd been in his arms, feeling completely safe. When I'd woken up I had decided it was nothing. For one thing it had just been a dream and being 16 I could not see it as a reality, another thing was the fact I just couldn't feel safe. That had been decided for me a long time ago. A year later I would find out how unsafe I really was, and one action would change my life forever, and when I say forever I mean _forever_.

I had to calm myself before getting to my next class. When I was calm, and entered the class room, I saw him again. He was sitting alone, next to the only free spot. Not that I minded, I wanted to know everything about him, how strange that might've been. He introduced himself to me in the oddest of ways. At least it would've been odd for humans. For me it was, well, just amazing. He was being polite in the old Southern style and I loved it. He told me his name and I wanted to say it over and over again. He smiled and I never wanted to look away. He hadn't noticed yet though. He hadn't noticed I wasn't human. So when I left and felt his eyes bore into me and he said my name. I did the stupidest thing. For less than a second, I was inclined to turn around. That's when he found out.

Not that he wouldn't have found out otherwise, he probably would've figured it out. Still, I felt stupid for wanting to turn around.

During that meeting, I had to restrain from using my powers. I have powers, you see. Powers with which I can find out anything about anyone. Their thoughts, futures, feelings. I could've used them on him. I wanted to use them on him. I wanted to find out as much as possible about this golden haired god that walked into my life. I didn't however. I already knew that he could feel other people's feelings and manipulate them. I thought that was enough privacy violation. Plus I just wanted to hear him talk, a lot.

Today was my second day of school, and like I said I had to keep myself from using my powers all morning. Lunch break was here and I was standing in front of my locker, looking for the stuff I needed for history class.

'Mia!' A voice sounded from my right. I stifled a groan and looked up with a smile pasted on my face.

'Jess.' I said in acknowledgement. She didn't seem to notice my disinterest, not that I was really showing it.

'I heard something.' She said, swaying on her feet like a child. I raised my eyebrows, while pulling a book from the mess in my locker. The second day of school, you'd think it was impossible to make your locker a mess.

'What did you hear?' I asked her when finally getting my history book out. She grinned.

'You sitting next to Jasper Hale!' She jumped up and down a few times while squealing. 'You didn't even tell me! How could you not have!'

Because I only met you exactly 26 hours ago, I thought.

'Sorry,' I said apologetically.

'Tell me everything.' She said then, a grin stretched on her face that surprisingly didn't seem to hurt.

A groan was about to escape my lips, and I wouldn't have been able to stop it if Jasper hadn't suddenly been there next to Jessy.

'Mia,' he said with a smile. Jessy's eyes grew wide as she stared at Jasper, who had literally come out of nowhere.

'Hello there Jessy.' He shot her a quick glance, but soon looked at me again. She didn't seem offended though, instead she was in heaven.

'Could I talk to you for a moment?' He asked me.

I looked at Jessy questioningly, already knowing her answer. For some people you just didn't need powers to understand their thoughts. She nodded and gave me a 'you will tell me everything later' look. I walked with Jasper and when we were out of earshot I groaned at having to tell her everything later.

'Saving you wasn't so smart?' He asked, looking a bit guilty. I smiled at him, 'It was very nice of you, but now she will want a full update on everything that happened.'

'And if you say nothing happened?'

I laughed at that. 'Do you think she'll believe that?'

He pressed his lips together and a small frown formed. 'No ma'am.' He then said, which would've made my heart skip a beat, or two.

'Did you really want to talk to me or were you just being a hero?' His face changed at that, as if he wasn't sure about that himself.

'I would really appreciate it if we could talk.' He said.

I nodded, 'Ok, where.' He looked at me for a second, then at his watch.

'This might put my hero status at stake, but would you mind skipping class to take a walk in the woods with me?'

I could only shake my head. Of course I wouldn't mind. This guy had caught my attention just yesterday and I already couldn't stop thinking about him. I was really lucky I was able to keep my emotions in check in such a way he could not feel what I was feeling, or just faintly, otherwise it would be embarrassing. It was scary how much effort it took to keep them in check though. Normally I would do it effortlessly, now not so much.

We walked in silence through the woods, until we reached a small clearing with a stream running through it. He sat down on the edge of the rocks next to the water, his legs dangling just above the water. I sat down next to him, cross-legged, taking him in fully.

'You can hide your emotions away.' He stated, I smiled sheepishly and nodded, even if it wasn't a question.

'How?'

I sighed softly, taking an unnecessary breath. I didn't want to lie to him, but I also didn't want him to hate me for what I was.

'It's a gift of mine.' I then said. Leaving out the things that would ruin everything. He could see I was keeping something from him, his eyes narrowed at me for a second. He was a real gentleman though, leaving it at that.

'You can feel emotions.' I stated back. A small smile formed on his lips at my copying him. 'I can.' He answered. I couldn't help from asking the next question with full curiosity.

'How is that like?' He looked at me surprised, but he didn't seem to mind the question. Nor did he seem to mind answering it.

'It's really annoying sometimes. Especially with couples surrounding you. You're pretty much influenced by what others are feeling all the time.' He made a face. 'On the other hand, you do know what people are feeling and sometimes that helps.' He seemed to think about that a moment before continuing. 'I can also influence the feelings others have, to an extent.'

I must've looked surprised because he had to chuckle at my expression. 'You know how frustrating it is not to know what you are feeling.' He was frowning again. 'I mean, yesterday I felt you perfectly clear and now you're just a haze of calm and steady. Which is really strange.'

I smiled at him and slowly lifted the wall I had built around my feelings. They slowly crept out like mist, and I saw Jasper's eyes widening at that. He was staring at me and I stared straight back at him, seeing how my emotions were affecting him.

'Thank you very much Mia.' He said with a smile. When he said my name a thril went through me. I instantly regretted showing him my emotions, if that had been clear that is.

'Are you wearing contacts?' He suddenly asked. I felt scared for a moment. Not because of him, but because I had completely forgotten about my eyes and how unnatural they must seem. His face had changed though, questioning me with his eyes. He didn't get why I was freaking out inside, of course he didn't. I sighed and shook my head. 'No I'm not.'

He seemed to feel that he shouldn't ask any further and went on to another topic. 'You have very human behavior for a vampire.' He said, probably referring to my sighing and moving around like humans do. I laughed, 'Yeah I guess I do.'

I looked at the sky and thought for a second. Could I tell him this? I wanted to tell him at least something from my past, something that was true.

'I was raised by my parents.' I looked back at him and continued, eyeing his reaction. 'Even after I'd been turned.'

This seemed to shock him and I smiled grimly, continuing quickly so I wouldn't have to listen to his reaction just yet.

'They taught me how to act human and I never forgot.' I shrugged. 'In a way I guess that it's also a way to hold onto them.'

Jasper was still staring at me and I started feeling uncomfortable. He snapped out of it when he felt that and apologized.

'Sorry, I truly am. It's just that I have a hard time dealing with humans and thinking of being raised by two of them, being a newborn.' he paused for a second. 'I just can't comprehend it.'

I got up and pressed my lips together, trying to smile but failing miserably. 'It's abnormal, I know.'

A pang went through me, wanting nothing more but to be accepted by him and knowing I would never be.

'Thank you for the talk.' I told him. 'I have to get back now, see you later.'

I turned around and closed my eyes to calm myself. Why was I doing this? He was just surprised, that is all. Can't he be? It is weird right?  
My mind was telling me however that it was wrong, that if he was surprised by this he would definitely not understand the rest. If I had been human I would've been on the verge of crying.

'Wait...' He called after me. Then I felt his hand wrap around my wrist and turn me around. My body was working on instinct and I was out of his grip and on the ground, ready to attack. It took me about half a second to see what had happened and straighten up again. He was on the other side of the field now and walking my way slowly. Not cautiously, just slow.

'I don't want to hurt you.' He said. I laughed, of course he had felt it.

'Please, don't think I wanted to hurt you. I just, wasn't expecting it.'

I looked at him and saw the sincerity in his eyes. 'So you don't think I'm weird?' What was that? Why did I ask that?

He looked shocked and shook his head. He flew forward at vampire speed and stopped in front of me, his head cocked to the side.

'I believe you're special.'

My feelings must've been all over the place, and I wasn't sure what he was picking up, but I knew I had to get away. Every fibre in my body screamed at me to get away from him. That he was a danger to my heart, I just couldn't. He was so close, and looked so sincere. I never wanted to move away.

When four more vampires emerged out of the woods though, I had no choice.

Jasper POV

Seriously? Did they have to come out now? I was finally alone with her, was talking to her and had found out about her.

I don't know what I was going to do, standing so close to her. I wanted to be a gentleman and take a step back but my body wouldn't move. I was stuck and couldn't fool myself into thinking I minded.

Now though, I had to take a step back. My family was standing together, a few feet away from us. Edward was frowning, still unhappy with the fact he couldn't read her mind. Alice was grinning curiously at her, just like Emmett. Rosalie had her eyes narrowed, looking at Mia suspiciously.

I glanced at Mia, who was still at my side. She was looking at them, her feelings mixed. I could recognize a few. She was scared, suspicious, hopeful and guilty. It was a strange combination and I didn't understand it at all. Should I ask her?

'Why are you feeling guilty?' Edward asked before I could. I shot him a glare, what the hell man? I shot at him in my mind. He didn't even look at me, instead trying to get into her mind, or so I guessed.

She stared straight back at him, not fazed by his question which was kind of surprising considering I never told her he could read minds, and so also see feelings when I was near.

Alice responded before Mia could though, hitting him against his arm. 'Edward, don't be so rude.' She said, glaring at him. She then faced Mia and took a step closer, a smile on her lips. 'Sorry, he's really frustrated with the fact that he can't read your mind.'

This made Mia smile, 'Don't worry I know the feeling.' She said, again leaving me speechless. Alice seemed to have already recovered, probably because she'd seen it coming, and moved in front of her at vampire speed, pulling her in for a hug.

'We are going to be such great friends!' She squealed.

'Alice can see the future.' Edward explained, having moved closer as well. 'I am very sorry for my behavior.' He said, taking her hand and kissing it softly. I felt jealous, which was ridiculous because he was in love with Alice, just trying to be polite right now. I couldn't help it though. He shot me an amused glance as he read those thoughts and I looked away, ashamed.

'Come on Rose, she looks nice.' We all turned towards Emmett and Rosalie. Emmett on the verge of coming our way and Rosalie, unmoving. Rosalie wouldn't be coming any closer, she never really liked anyone, and was one to stay suspicious of people for a long time. Emmett however wasn't. He gave up on her and came up to us as well, taking Mia into a big bear hug for no reason.

'It's great to meet you.' He said with a wide grin, which made her smile as well. 'It's great to meet you too!' She replied.

'That car belongs to you right?' Emmett asked with interest. 'The red Lamborghini?' She grinned, 'It does.' He nodded and leaned in to whisper in her ear, which had no use because we could still all hear what he was saying.

'Maybe you can let Rosalie look under the hood, that'll make her a bit more fond of you.' He leaned back and shot a glance at his girl, who was looking in their direction, not able to hide her curiosity for the car. She came standing next to Emmett but didn't make any attempt to be nice to Mia.

'So is she wearing contacts?' Emmett asked, coming back to the discussion we had had last night. Emmett, for some reason, had been convinced she wasn't. Right now I couldn't believe he had been right. I should've seen it myself. Mia shook her head, a bit shy, and scared. I manipulated her into feeling calm. She looked at me in surprise, but thankful too.

Emmett was grinning widely. 'I told them you weren't.' He boasted. 'I knew I was right.'

Rosalie rolled her eyes and looked at Mia with curiosity. Even though she didn't trust her yet, she couldn't stop herself from asking. 'How come your eyes are green then?'

Mia wasn't sure how to answer, becoming scared again. Alice helped her this time though. 'She can tell us later. The sun will appear in about an hour so we have to get home.' She stated. Everyone looked at her and nodded, if she said it was going to happen, it would. They turned around and ran away, leaving me behind with Mia. 'Are you coming with us?' I asked her.

She seemed to be weighing her options for a second, 'I first have to drop my car off at home if you don't mind.' She said after a few seconds.

I nodded, 'I'll go with you, then we can run to my house when you're ready.'

She smiled at me, 'You really are a gentleman aren't you.'

She asked with all sincerity. 'No ma'am. Not always.'

She shook her head, 'You are Jasper, you definitely are.'

She said while taking off running to the parking lot. I couldn't believe how that made my heart flutter.

This girl had been able to make me feel better than I have felt in decades, longer even. For a moment it was as if all the bad things I had ever done were nothing and that I was actually a good man. But then everything comes back and I know I will have to tell her what I did in the past, and the fear of losing her over that was more than I could bear. I might be able to fight a hundred newborns at the same time and feel nothing, but this scared the hell out of me.


	3. Chapter 3

**_Author's note: _**

**_Sorry I took my time with updating, I've just got so many things going on, including stories. I know that is entirely my fault, but still. I hope you like this chapter, please let me know if you do. Even if you don't, just tell me why so I can fix it._**

**_Thankyou for reading,_**

**_Enjoy,_**

**_Love,_**

**_EvilGirlLovesWriting_**

**_Chapter 3: Questions left unanswered_**

**Mia POV**

I wasn't thinking when I told him I would come along. I wasn't thinking when I didn't refuse his offer to come home with me. Actually, I wasn't thinking at all. I just really wanted him to follow, I couldn't help it.

During the drive we stayed silent. He did not mention that my emotions were being hid from him again, even though I knew he knew I was doing it. Because of my rash answer though, I didn't really have a choice. My past could not come to light, at least not yet.

Why are my eyes green? It's a question I know I will need to answer, soon probably, but I also know I can't tell them the truth.

The one thing I could tell them which, in a way, would be true, would be that it's a gift of mine.

Like being able to cloud my emotions and hide my thoughts. The gift of being able to blend in. They might believe that, but I actually didn't want to lie to them. Apart from Rosalie they had all been nice to me. I knew I would feel bad if I lied. On the other hand, lying was one of the only reasons I was still alive today.

I could also tell them that I don't know why my eyes are green, that I just woke up like that. That would be true, well sort of. Damn this would be hard. For now though I didn't have to answer the question, so I tried to ignore it and focussed on the road.

It took us just a few minutes to get to my house. It was a normal neighborhood. Next to me lived an elderly couple with their two dogs and on the other side a single mother with three little kids. She had asked me right after I moved in if I might be able to watch the kids from time to time, I agreed feeling delighted. I loved children, and animals. I wasn't quite the most normal vampire ever I guess.

I walked up to the front door and unlocked it, using the key underneath the flowerpot, how original. Jasper chuckled as he followed me inside, which made me laugh too.

He looked around the house, 'Nice place.' He said.

I smiled at him,'Thanks.'

I threw my bag onto the kitchen table and looked around. It looked a lot tidier than a normal kitchen would look like. Almost like my mother had some kind of germofobia, which isn't so considering I don't have a mother anymore.

'You know,' He started suddenly. I looked up at him. 'You don't have to tell my family anything if you don't want to.'

I stared at him, wide eyed and confused. 'You can read my emotions?'

He shook his head, 'No, but the fact you're hiding them says enough.'

I nodded, of course it did. This guy probably knew more about people's emotions and the thoughts that accompanied them than anyone.

'I'm sorry, it's just…a different story than the usual.' I said a bit hesitantly.

He smiled, understanding. 'Everyone's story is different Mia, I'm sure my family will be fine with yours.'

I snorted, 'Yeah right.' I said under my breath, knowing he could hear it anyway.

'You ready to go?' I asked him, acting like I hadn't said it.

'Yes ma'am.' He said, ignoring it as well.

I smiled and shook my head lightly at his answer, leaving through the back door.

'Where do we run to?'

He grinned and took my hand, 'Follow me.'

We ran together. Him pulling me along by my hand. I felt happy, absolutely overjoyed and insane all at the same time. Insane because I was starting to fall for him, even though I barely knew him.

We arrived at his house even quicker than we had arrived at mine. He opened the door first, holding it open for me. I shot him a small smile as I went in, feeling like my heart would've skipped a beat at his chivalrous behavior.

The first person I noticed was a woman, she was standing by the piano with a surprised look on her face. I hadn't seen her before, but I guessed she must be part of the family.

'You must be Mia.' She said, smiling happily. She walked over to me and pulled me in for a hug, forcing me to let go of Jasper's hand, which I was still been holding.

'I'm Esme, It is so nice to meet you. I have heard so many things about you already.'

I felt surprised and Jasper picked up on it. On the way here I had stopped controlling my emotions again, feeling like it would be best to not hide myself all too much because that could make him suspicious, damn I hated living with a secret.

Jasper's chuckle brought me back to reality. He leaned in to whisper in my ear, even though everyone in the house could hear it.

'Alice is a bit over enthusiastic sometimes. She talks a lot.'

'I do not!' Alice's voice sounded as she skipped down the stairs, Edward trailing after her.

'Don't mind him Mia, he just doesn't like it that I always win from him with chess.' She said, kissing my cheek lightly and heading back to Edward who was standing beside the staircase.

'You're the one always cheating.' Jasper pointed out, not sounding all too upset about it though. It felt more like he was used to it and didn't really mind.

I laughed when Alice stuck her tongue out at Jasper like a little kid. 'Am not.' She countered.

'Ok, ok. Now before this turns into a childish fight, let me first introduce myself.' A voice said suddenly. I looked up to find a calm looking man studying me from the top of the stairs. He made his way down with a genuine smile on his face,

'Hello there Mia, my name is Carlisle.' He smiled and as he reached the bottom of the staircase he seemed to be thinking hard about something. 'Your eyes do indeed have a remarkable color.'

He made his way over to Esme's side, putting a hand on the small of her back.

'I see you have met my wife and children.'

The way he said it, his voice filled with affection, made me want a family like that. Of course my parents had loved me, but the rest of my family didn't. They despised me.

Jasper picked up on my feelings of pain and longing and took ahold of my hand again, giving it a squeeze.

I smiled at Carlisle, 'Yes I have. They are all really nice.'

Rosalie snorted which made Carlisle shoot her a warning glance. 'I'm glad you think that.' He told me with sincerity.

I felt myself getting uncomfortable under their stares, so I looked around the room. Rosalie stood beside Emmett, only just having entered the room. Emmett was grinning at me, Rosalie was looking a lot less happy.

Together they looked happy, as a family, as couples. I was hyper aware of Jasper's hand that was holding mine suddenly, wondering if he and I would one day… No.

Don't think about it. It's not possible.

I quickly resumed my glances around the room and my eyes landed on the grand piano Esme was standing next to, it was beautiful and my fingers started tingling at the thought of playing it.

'Do you play?' I asked Jasper. He shook his head looking rather regretful.

'Edward does. And Esme a little.'

'Do you?' Esme asked me. I looked up into her smiling face.

'I used to.' I told her, letting my gaze wander back to the large instrument, 'I haven't in a long time though.'

She smiled, 'I don't think you'll forget so soon, why don't you try?'

I looked at Edward to see if he would mind, he just smiled. Jasper pushed me forward a little, towards it. I felt drawn to it in a way, I hadn't played in such a long time. As I sat down I felt their eyes on me and fidgeted. It was as if I was the town's attraction, which maybe I was.

I took a deep breath, which I didn't particularly need, and put my fingers in place. The song that came to mind first was one my mother taught me when I was just 8 years old. My memories of before I was turned were as clear as they were after so I used those memories to play.

I had moments when I was grateful for having clear memories like I do, other times I'd rather forget all about them. Right now I was the former.

I closed my eyes and let my fingers follow the flow of the music, slowly losing myself in good memories of the past. When I finished though all those good memories disappeared at once, making room for the things I'd rather forget.

The room was silent as they were all smiling at me in awe, even Rosalie couldn't hide that she was impressed.

'That was beautiful.' Jasper said. I rolled my eyes.

'No really, it was.' Esme added.

'You are a very talented girl my dear.' Carlisle followed.

I thanked them shyly, starting to feel better again. Maybe this family would accept me like I am. Maybe I could just let my memories flow.

I soon dismissed the thought though, if my own family hadn't been able to, why would they?

The questions started soon after the whole ordeal. Actually right after Jasper led me to the couch and we both sat down. Emmett had flopped down onto a second couch, Rosalie standing gracefully next to him. She was still shooting me cautious glances and I felt nervous as hell.

Jasper could feel it as well and squeezed my hand once more, I smiled at him.

'Can I ask the first question?' Emmett asked, almost bouncing up and down.

Edward frowned but didn't stop him, which made another nervous jolt course through me. That's when Jasper interfered by sending me calming feelings. I sent him a quick and grateful smile and focused back on Emmett.

'Why are you're eyes green?'

Oh shit. First question and it's been asked. Damn. I locked up automatically, Jasper flinching away as if he had been stung. I looked at him, wide eyed.

'Jazz? You ok?' Alice asked, sounding worried.

Jasper quickly recovered and smiled at Alice reassuringly, 'Fine, just surprised. That's all.'

No one seemed to understand and it was Edward who explained that I was able to lock up my feelings and that Jasper had just been flung out of me.

I bit my lip and looked at Jasper, regretting what I had done instantly. 'Sorry..' I whispered.

He shook his head and smiled at me, 'It's fine. Really.'

I sighed, trying to calm down and let the lock slip away so he could 'listen' in to my feelings. I don't exactly know how I did it but I focused on keeping the lock away, so it wouldn't fling back like it had before.

'Dear, if you don't want to tell us, you don't have to.'

I looked Esme in the eye, she was so kind. How could I not tell them.

I sighed, one of my human habits.

'It's not that I don't want to tell you, I really do.' I directed the last part at Jasper who gave my hand an encouraging squeeze. 'There are just things I _can't_ tell you.'  
I felt their suprised stairs and didn't like the silence. Alice broke it though by taking place next to me and putting an arm around my shoulder.

'It doesn't matter Mia, you'll be like a sister to me anyway. A sister to almost all of us.'

I thanked her with a smile and then faced everyone, deciding I was going to tell them as much as possible without putting them in harm's way.

'I woke up a vampire, with green eyes. I can't explain how it happened. No one knew why.'

Carlisle nodded, wondering about how it could've happened I guess. 'Do you have an idea on how it could've happened?'

'Maybe yes, but I'm not entirely sure. I was special before I got turned, that might've influenced what I became after.' It was the truth, missing one word. The word which could get them into trouble if they knew.

He nodded, waiting for me to continue. 'It could also be that I have a gift, like mind reading or feeling emotions.' I directed at Edward and Jasper. 'The gift of blending in. It sounds weird but I can't dismiss the possibility.'

'Why do you think that is your gift?'

I shifted my weight, knowing I had to formulate my words right or they would be in danger.

'I don't have a problem with living around humans, I was even brought up by my parents after I was turned.' This drew gasps from some of them, Carlisle just watched me with curious eyes.

'I picked up on their human behavior, and that made me act human.' I shrugged.

'I also can go out when the sun is shining, without it being a problem.'

I stopped, looking at my fidgeting hands in my lap.

'And I never had the bloodthirst that most newborns have.' I whispered.

For a second it was silent, until Esme got up and took my hands from my lap in hers.

'You certainly are a special girl.' She said with a smile.

I looked up, special wasn't how I would describe myself but I wasn't about to argue with her. She hugged me and let me sit down again.

'Who turned you?' Edward asked me next.

'A friend of my dad's.'

'Your father was human, and a friend of a vampire?' Emmett asked, surprised.

I nodded, knowing how strange it sounded.

'Why were you changed?' Alice asked.

'Because I was in danger.'

Jasper frowned, 'What kind of danger?'

I swallowed, 'My family wanted me dead.' I paused a second and closed my eyes as I continued. 'My parents ran away with me to protect me. Eventually they knew they couldn't, unless I was changed. So they changed me.'

It was silent and I dared to glance up. They were all looking at me, different looks on all of them. Alice looked sad, Edward thoughtful, like Carslisle, Esme seemed like she wanted to cry and Emmett looked mad, not at me though, at my family.

Rosalie was the only one who kept a straight face, still studying me.

'Why did they want you dead?' She asked.

I flinched at the question but she didn't seem to care one bit. Jasper sent me a wave of calm and Emmett glared at his girl. She clenched her jaw tightly at that, but not before a hiss escaped.

'I can't say.' I told them.

'You can't or you won't?' Rosalie sounded cautious, I got it. She was trying to protect her family, she had every right to.

'I can't.' I looked her in the eye and knew she saw that I was telling the truth.

Jasper was tracing circles on the palm of my hand with his thumb absentmindedly, probably processing a lot of things right now and thinking about how I could bring them in danger.

'How did you keep up the act with your human parents?' Rosalie asked next, knowing she wouldn't get anywhere else with the last question.

I was glad she had said something, the silence was killing me. I just didn't exactly know what she meant. She sighed, obviously annoyed because vampires don't usually make that sound much, and scowled at me.

'How did you not rip their throats out?'

'Rosalie!' Esme scolded, sounding strict.

Rosalie didn't look up though, instead focusing on me.

'I never wanted to rip their throats out.' I replied, making her look change into surprise. 'Like I said, I can handle myself around blood just fine.'

She nodded curtly, walking over to the kitchen table and sitting down, still annoyed I guessed. Emmett shot me an apoligetic glance and went to sit next to her. The other started asking me several other questions, unimportant ones. Alice and Edward told me the story of the family, how they had all came together, and I listened intently. I still noticed Jasper's hand in mine though, making me want to smile.

The sun was already rising after the stories and questions stopped. I felt like I had been interrogated, but at the same time enlightened with their stories. They seemed very nice, and different from any other vampires I had ever met. I liked that. Edward had told me his individual story, so did Carlisle, Esme and Alice, for as far as she knew. Jasper hadn't yet and I was dying to hear it. At the same time though I understood why he didn't tell me in front of everyone, he wanted it to be just the two of us.

'Jasper, do you need to hunt before going to school?' Carlisle asked him with fatherly concern as we got up from the couch.

Jasper looked up at him and seemed to be contemplating for a moment, 'No, I'm fine.' He then said.

It seemed to surprise Carlisle and Esme but not in a bad way. They knew they could trust him and didn't press any further.

He looked at me again with a smile, I was still holding his hand but didn't mind at all.

'Mia, do you need to go by your place before school?' Jasper asked me quietly.

I thought about that for a second and nodded, 'I'm afraid so.'

He didn't seem to mind though, getting up and holding a hand out for me to take. I smiled and thanked him. He led me to the garage where several cars were parked. He chose a red volvo and held the door for me.

'You know you really are a gentleman.'

He laughed as he got in. 'Only towards you my lady,' he said with a wink.

I rolled my eyes but couldn't help the smile playing on my lips. He parked in front of my place and we went in together.

'I'll be right back.' I told him, going up and changing at vampire speed. I also put some school things in my backpack and took a glance around the room.

It was too tidy for a teenage room, I sighed. My dad probably would've scolded me for not leaving anything on the floor because that was 'the human way'.

I smiled sadly at that thought and ran down the stairs at human speed, stopping in front of Jasper.

He looked me over and I saw admiration in his eyes that would've made my cheeks turn bright red. He looked good himself too, already having changed at his place.

A pair of worn down dark blue jeans and a white shirt that hugged his muscles tightly. I felt like I would faint, if that is what vampires do.

Suddenly I noticed something on his arms. I took a step forward to study him closer, not missing the fact that he was looking at me with a mix of fear and hope on his face. It took me less than a second to recognize what the marks were, they were scars. Scars caused by vampire bites to be more precise.

My emotions went on lock down instinctively and I dropped by bag, frowning at him. How the hell had I missed these before? That had an easy answer, long sleeves.


	4. Chapter 4

**_Author's note: _**

**_Hey everyone, thank you for taking the time to read my story! Please let me know what you think and review, I'd really appreciate it. If you have any questions, ideas, comments, etc. Just PM or review! Here you have chapter 4!_**

**_Enjoy,_**

**_Love,_**

**_EvilGirlLovesWriting_**

Chapter 4: Hatred

_Jasper's POV_

She saw them. She saw my scars. Now what?

I had no idea what was going to happen. I felt what she was feeling, fear, anger and something I could only describe as intense hatred.

'Mia?' I asked hesitantly. I wanted her to answer me with a smile, an actual smile that would tell me everything was fine. Instead she forced one as she picked up the bag she'd dropped when she saw me, and looked at the door.

'Time to go to school.' She said, not able to look me in the eye. 'Let's go.'

I was biting my lip, which is something vampires did not do, normal vampires anyway. I just couldn't help it right now, it was as if my body was moving on automatic pilot. I didn't know what I was doing. The only thing I did know was that she was radiating a haze of calm and I knew she was doing that herself, to keep me out.

We both kept silent while heading to school. She stared out of the window all the way, not even glancing at me once. I, on the other hand, was thinking of what to say to her to make her understand, glancing at her every few seconds just to make sure she was still there. I was afraid she might actually just decide it would be better to disappear. Being a vampire, she could if she wanted to, so I had to reassure myself that she was still in the car.

Eventually I gave up, not able to think of anything that could make her understand and _not _be frightened of me. Vampires were instinctive creatures. When seeing vampire marks on other vampires, especially as many as I had, they felt like they had to protect themselves. Even Carlisle had felt it the first time he saw me, when Alice brought me in. There was no fighting that instinct, and I knew it. it took Edward, Rosalie, Emmett, Carlisle and Esme a long time before they could control that feeling, but I knew it still was there, deep below the surface. Alice never had it, well not strong enough for me to pick up on it, but that was because she could see I wasn't a danger.

I had hated that protective feeling coming from my family, but right now I hated it even more. Of course I didn't 'feel' it coming from Mia's haze of calm, but that calm was reason enough to fear. She wouldn't be keeping me out if she wasn't scared, right?

I wanted to crash the car into something, just to get rid of the self hatred building inside of me. I had hidden the scars from sight yesterday, like I normally did, wearing long sleeves like everyone would with this weather. Truth is I had forgotten all about them when choosing my clothes for the day, which was stupid. I should've taken into account that she hadn't seen them, I should've remembered.

I guess I was remembered, just too late. I was reminded the moment she suddenly dropped her bag and stared at me. That was the first time she saw them, and I was pretty sure it would be the last time too. She probably wouldn't want me anywhere near her in the future.

We arrived at school and I wanted to get the door for her, but she wouldn't let me. She got out on her own and faced the rest of my family, who had arrived before us, with a deep frown on her face. I was frowning myself as she still wouldn't look at me.

'What's up Mia?' Emmett asked her, cocking his head to the side in concern. He had just met her a day ago but he was already starting to feel a certain protectiveness towards her. It was amazing how a big guy like Emmett could be such an emotional guy, but then again everyone was emotional, I knew that. Well except for Mia right now.

She snapped out of her thoughts at the sound of his voice, the frown making place for a smile, a fake one though.

'Nothing. I'm fine.' She said, but her voice sounded strange, as if she was trying to hide something. A human wouldn't be able to hear it, but we did. She didn't explain why she was frowning, nor did she explain why she was trying to find a way out of the conversation like she was doing. Looking around the parking lot she quickly spotted Jessy, surrounded by some other people, and waved a small goodbye to us before she left towards them. Leaving everyone frowning after her.

I fucked up, I thought. Feeling despair take a hold of me. I totally fucked up this time.

'What is going on?' Emmett asked, confused by the way Mia had acted.

Edward narrowed his eyes after her. 'She saw Jasper's scars.' He said and I shot him a glare for prowling around in my thoughts. I normally didn't mind but right now I wanted him out.

'Alice, did you see-?' Rosalie started asking. Alice grimaced, following Mia with her eyes. 'I did,' she interupted Rosalie. 'I didn't see how she would react to them though. I'm still not sure.' She frowned, sounding confused herself.

I laughed humorlessly. 'Not sure? She can't even look at me. I think I know how she is reacting.'

I didn't wait for an answer from any of them, what did they know? They hadn't been there the moment she saw me. The look of total horror on her face. I shook my head but the image was stuck in my mind and wouldn't leave me alone. I turned around and walked towards the woods, soon breaking into a sprint at vampire speed. It wasn't like I could actually go to school right now, that wouldn't be smart at all. I wanted to break something, and that wasn't a mood you wanted to be in as a vampire, especially not in a class full of kids who were so fragile. When I stopped at the same spot I'd talked to her before, I grinded my teeth together. That's when I heard the unmistakable sound of footsteps, a deer's.

A growl escaped my lips as I headed for the animal. Not because I was thirsty, but rather because I was pissed. This animal would suffer before dying and however bad I would feel about that later, right now I didn't care.

_Mia's POV_

As I was making my way towards Jess I felt sick. I quickly decided I wasn't in the mood for any of her questions about Jasper right now, which she would surely have, and went to my first class early instead. All the way to the classroom I felt the image of the scars haunting me. The thought of Jasper having fought like that, of him being in danger, I couldn't describe what it did to me. The idea of him getting hurt in a fight made it feel like my heart was being ripped out of my chest and cut into a million pieces. I knew how much a vampire bite hurt, and the thought of him being in pain like that, it was too much. I wanted to hunt every single one of those vampires down and kill them all, that hatred burnt through me like nothing I'd ever felt before, it scared me a bit.

I thought maybe the teacher could distract me, how naive of me. Of course he couldn't, everything he told the class I already knew, which made it only easier for my mind to wander off. Eventually I asked if I could go to the restroom, wanting to get the hell out of this place.

I sighed before going into the restroom, which was empty. I needed some time alone, and believe it or not a restroom does the trick. I stared at myself in the mirror, my green eyes filled with fear, fear for Jasper. Suddenly the door opened and Rosalie came walking in. She wasn't looking very happy but her eyes showed worry and wonder as well.

'Do you hate him now?' She asked, not fazed by my presence. She probably knew I was in here, probably came in for that very reason.

I knew who she was talking about and frowned. 'What?' I asked her in surprise. 'No, of course not.' The thought of hating Jasper was something that I could not grasp. How could I ever?

'He thinks you do.' She said, gauging my reaction.

'He what!?'

'He believes you don't want anything to do with him anymore.' I could hear she was telling me the truth and I stared at her for what felt like hours.

'But that's crazy.' I whispered, still not understanding what the hell was going on right now. Why would he think I hated him? How did he come up with something as crazy as that?

'Why did you react like you did if 'that's crazy'?' Her eyes were penetrating me, demanding an explanation.

I bit my lip, suddenly realizing how Jasper could think I hated him. I had pretty much ignored him after seeing the scars, of course he would think that. I'd fucked this up bad.

I closed my eyes and shook my head slowly, 'I couldn't take it.' I whispered. 'The thought of what must've happened to him. The pain he must've been through. It hurt.'

Rosalie's look softened for a second, but soon changed back into the same penetrating gaze she'd had before. She narrowed her eyes slightly, 'I don't understand why he likes you so much, why he doesn't want to lose you, I mean I don't trust you and neither should he. But right now that doesn't matter. He's gone into the woods, probably feeling pissed at himself. You better fix that.' She hissed and then stalked out of the bathroom.

I didn't have time to dwell over what she said, instead I hurried out of the building. The teacher would probably report the fact I never came back to class, but that wasn't what I cared about right now. I ran towards the woods and the moment I was out of sight I sprinted towards the same spot we had talked before, hoping he would be there, at vampire speed.

I found him staring across the water, a tormented look on his face. My heart ached as I saw him like this, even more than it had at the sight of his scars. He was in pain and I'd caused it. Why the fuck did I have to overreact like I did? I asked myself, knowing the answer to that question. I couldn't help it. The same way that I hadn't been able to help saying yes to his invitation to come meet his family. There was just something about this guy that made me do things without reasons.

'Jasper..' I said. He looked up, startled, which was amazing considering he should've been able to hear me coming from miles away. His eyes were wide, 'Mia.' He said. Then his face changed, 'Did Rosalie send you?' He asked.

I nodded and he laughed with no humor. 'She really does care about us, even though it doesn't always show.' He turned back to the water, not saying anything else.

I hesitated a moment before walking up to him, not too close because the scars still made my stomach knot itself up. How the hell had I missed them before? Even with the long sleeves. His neck had exactly the same marks as his arms had, which meant I should've noticed them. I knew however that I had been too caught up with him to notice anything else other than just him. I hadn't studied him like I had this morning before, that was how I had missed them. It didn't make me feel any better knowing why though.

'Jasper, she told me you think I hate you now..' I whispered, not sure how else to start the conversation. I couldn't see his eyes anymore and cursed him for it. I wanted to be able to see what he was feeling. 'I don't, you know.' I then said, this time my voice was just above a whisper.

He heard it though and he turned around, looking surprised. Soon though his look turned wary and he narrowed his eyes, 'Did she tell you to say that?' He asked.

I shook my head, 'Of course not. Jasper, please believe me.' I said taking a step forward and pleading him with my eyes. I wanted him to know I didn't hate him, that I could never hate him but he didn't seem to. He got up and walked towards me, staying a few feet away and making me want to scream as he did. I had the feeling _he_ was the one hating _me_ right now and I couldn't take it.

'I don't know how I can. You practically locked up when you saw my scars, how am I to believe you aren't mad at me, or even worse, afraid of me?' He asked, a flash of pain crossing his face as he remembered.

I stared at him, only knowing one way to prove to him that I did not hate, or fear, him. I let my guard up now, trying to keep the hatred I was still feeling for the vampires who did it to him at bay as much as possible. I wasn't feeling scared though, and _that _he could see.

'Jasper. I'm not scared _of_ you, I'm scared _for_ you. When I saw your scars I remembered things I didn't want to remember. And the vampires who did this to you, you don't know how much I want to kill them.' I said, my eyes as pleading as before.

His face softened and hope formed in his eyes. I decided to go on, I had to make him believe me. I don't know what he had been through in his life, but it was too much. I wanted, no I needed him to know I was there for him.

'I don't hate you and I'm not scared of you. I won't ever be, because I know what you are like. Seriously Jasper, I haven't talked normally with vampires for decades. I've been avoiding them for so long. When I saw _you_ though I just couldn't help myself, I had to talk to you. You were the one who made me feel like I started to have friends again, ones who aren't technically alive. Please believe me when I say that I don't hate you. I could never.'

That's when a small smile formed on his lips as he was still looking me in the eye. 'I don't understand it. I only just met you and already the feeling of you hating me is unbearable.' He said softly, sounding just a bit confused himself.

I felt a grin spread on my face in repsponse, my heart fluttering at what he said.

'Then it's good I don't.' I told him with a wink and he laughed, the sound making me want to hug him. Instead I walked up to the rocks and sat down, patting beside me. He came sitting next to me, in silence. Then he looked up at me and started talking, talking about his past.

'The vampire who changed me. Her name was Maria. When I met her I thought she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen, it turns out she was more than just a woman. She changed me and took me in as her mate, and commander in chief. I would be the one to go out and recruit newborns for her army. With my gift it was easy to see who formed a threat and who didn't. Early newborns though, the ones who were just days old, are very bipolar, as you know. Their feelings sometimes changed to quickly and I wouldn't be able to defend myself anymore.'

'And that's where the scars come from...' I whispered.

He nodded, looking sad. I took his hand and squeezed it, encouraging him to continue.

'I killed more than two hundred vampires, new and old, and I remember every single murder perfectly.' He whispered, looking pained.

'What changed?' I asked him. 'Why did you leave her?'

He chuckled. 'Another vampire, Peter. He was my second in command. He fell in love with one of the newborns I had to kill, and they ran away together. I let them go and followed in their footsteps soon. Didn't really have a choice because if Maria found out I would be in trouble.'

'So, Maria is still alive?' I asked, feeling the same hatred I'd felt for the ones who did this to him, only trippled, towards her. If she was I was going to kill her someday, that's promise.

He shrugged, 'She might still be, probably is. She always had amazing survival instincts.'

I nodded, thinking of the beautiful woman and feeling jealousy take over. She had Jasper as her mate and that pissed me off for some reason.

Jasper chuckled quietly as he sensed it, eyeing me. 'You're jealous of a first degree murderer?'

I would've blushed were I able to. 'Yeah,' I said sarcastically, rolling my eyes. 'I've always wanted to become a murderer.' I tried to lighten the mood with a joke but it wasn't really working. Wrong joke I guess.

He cocked his head to the side and inspected me, 'You never did?'

I raised my eyebrows, 'Mmm?' I asked.

'You never killed anyone?'

I looked away, feeling bad instantly. Like I said, wrong joke. 'I did.' I admitted. 'I killed my grandmother.'

He squeezed my hand this time and sighed. 'You're not a monster though.'

I smiled, looking up him. 'Neither are you.'

He snorted, 'Yeah right. Try to convince the humans I killed of that.' I wanted to protest but he cut me off. 'I have a hard time dealing with the scent of blood. I've fed on humans since I wad turned and when Alice led me to-,' he hesitated a second. 'To my family I had the hardest time adjusting. I couldn't handle the classroom. The sound of blood, the sweet smell nor the beating hearts of the students around me. So don't tell me I'm not a monster when I obviously am.'

I shook my head, waiting for him to look me in the eye before telling him what I was thinking.

'A monster does things without regret. A monster kills for pleasure. You are not a monster.'

'But-'

'No.' I cut him off. 'You gave up on drinking human blood. I believe that says enough about who you are. Even after all those years you're willing to try.'

He looked away and then chuckled. 'You're the weirdest vampire I have ever met.' He said jokingly. 'I like it.'

I smiled at that, for once happy that I wasn't normal.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Author's note: **_

_**Hey everyone,**_

_**I want to thank inagoldenafternoon so much for the review! I was smiling all day after reading it, haha. **_

_**I hope you all like this chapter, please review and let me know what you think! **_

_**Thanks for reading,**_

_**Love,**_

_**EvilGirlLovesWriting**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own anything except my own characters and story line.**_

Chapter 5

We didn't go back to class again that day but I didn't mind. I liked spending time with Jasper, even if we were just sitting together, not saying anything.

'You think Rosalie will like me someday?' I asked him suddenly. We'd been enjoying the comfortable silence that had surrounded us, but I just wanted to have an answer to what I'd been wondering. I didn't like the fact she didn't seem to like me, maybe because her whole family liked me and I didn't quite understand why she didn't, I wasn't sure, but I was wondering if she would ever.

He chuckled, 'She will.' He said, sounding very sure of himself.

'How can you be so sure?'

He looked at me skeptically, 'I know her.' He winked and suddenly moved at vampire speed, trying to grab ahold of me. He suprised me by his sudden movement but I was able to quickly jump away from him at vampire speed. I landed in a crouch and watched him carefully. He was grinning mischevously and I narrowed my eyes,

'What are you planning?' I asked him with a slight hint of amusement in my voice.

He chuckled again, 'I don't know yet, kidnap you maybe?'

I rolled my eyes, 'You mean vampirenapping?' I asked him playfully. He laughed and I liked the sound of it. I liked it enough to let my guard down. He jumped again and this time he had me pinned on the ground within a second.

His face was close, his golden eyes sparkling. I tried to roll over away from him but he had my wrists pinned to the ground. Maybe I didn't even want to move away.

'What would you do if you vampirenapped me then huh?' I asked him, giving up to try and get out of the restraints. He seemed to think about that for a second, a look in his eyes I couldn't quite place, and I saw my chance, pulling one wrist free and pushing myself off of the ground, him included.

I pulled my other wrist free the moment we were up on our feet again and moved to the side of the water in the blink of an eye, seeing Jasper stare at me with surprise and admiration. I laughed and the next thing I knew I was in sitting in the water, my clothes starting to get soaking wet and Jasper on top of me, smirking.

'You didn't.' I said, staring at him in disbelief.

He grinned down at me, 'I did.' He said.

I laughed pushing him off me and stretching in the water. I can't believe he'd just pushed me into the water, but now that I was in anyway, I might as well enjoy it.

'What are you doing?' He asked, sounding intrigued.

I chuckled, 'I'm relaxing.' I told him. 'Might as well considering I'm wet now anyway.'

He chuckled, lying down next to me in the water. 'Who would've thought two vampires would be relaxing in a stream near their school together.' He muttered with a chuckle.

'I would've.' I said, closing my eyes and laughing slightly.

Jasper's POV

I don't know what I'd been planning. Maybe to just push her down on the ground and tease her, or maybe even get her close enough to me so I could kiss her. But both my plans were ruined when she got out from under me.

She'd surprised me while I was thinking of how to reply to her answer, how cunning.

Right now though we were lying in the water together, after I pushed her in to get back at her for escaping from me before. Her leg was touching mine and I didn't want to move ever again. Except maybe if it meant she would crawl into me and rest her head on my chest. I looked at her, wanting nothing more but to feel her lips against mine. I couldn't just go and kiss her right now though, could I?

She had her eyes closed, head leaned back. It would be easy, I contemplated. But I was afraid of surprising her enough that she'd be on the other side of the clearing in no time and that wouldn't be how it was supposed to go.

I pondered about this for a second until she sat up, an alarmed look on her face.

'What's up?' I asked her, as alert as she was within a second.

She narrowed her eyes and scanned the area, looking thoughtful. 'I'm not sure. Probably nothing,' she looked at me and smiled, 'a fish maybe?' She chuckled. I scanned her feelings and noticed nothing out of the ordinary.

I smiled, 'Maybe.'

'Think we should head back?' She asked me and I glanced at my watch, seeing that class would end soon.

'If you want to leave without anyone seeing you like this,' I said gesturing at her.

She frowned, 'That might be best. But we can't take your car, then it'll get wet!'

'You sound just like Rosalie' I said with a chuckle. Thinking back to her question before. Rosalie could be a real bitch sometimes, but to those she cared about she could also be very nice. From what I'd seen and heard in Mia, I was pretty sure she shared Rosalie's love for cars, so I couldn't imagine them not becoming friends eventually. Plus I'd noticed a small change in Rosalie's feelings whenever she was close to Mia, she wasn't as suspicious as she had been before.

My comparison to Rosalie sparked Mia's interest, 'How so?' She asked.

'She would say the exact same thing. Only caring about the car.' I pouted mockingly acting like it hurt me.

She grinned and leaned in to kiss my cheek, 'I don't _only_ care about the car. But right now, yes, it's more important.' She winked as leaned back again, getting up and starting to run. I sat there, frozen for a second. She'd just kissed my cheek and there was a tingling feeling where she'd touched me. I shook my head to focus again and got up as well, following her lead of running through the woods towards her place.

We arrived quickly and entered through the back door this time.

'You need something to change in?' She asked me. I narrowed my eyes at her, 'You have men's clothing around here?'

I didn't like the idea at all, because it would mean she would have a reason for that. What reason could that be? A guy visiting regularly I'd say, and that thought made heart ache.

She chuckled, 'Maybe...' she trailed of, sprinting up the stairs.

Mia's POV

Did I have men's clothes around, yes. Why? Because the friend of my father's, the guy who had changed me, had times where he came and visit. He was sort of a nomad and so often didn't have clean clothes with him. To prevent him from getting anything dirty in my house, I always gave him clean clothes to wear.

I went into a room that had a bed in it as well. It wasn't a queen sized bed like I had, actually it wasn't a big bed at all, but considering we didn't have to sleep it didn't matter really.

I opened the closet door and pulled out jeans, a shirt and boxers. I hoped they would fit Jasper, and that he wouldn't mind wearing them.

I handed it to Jasper, who had followed me into the room. His eyebrows were raised and he looked confused and slightly hurt. I wondered why but soon understood as he asked me who the clothes belonged to. He was jealous, and for some reason that sounded like music to my ears.

'No one in particular. I bought them for the vampire who changed me.' I said with a shrug.

'He comes to visit you?' He asked, still not looking all too happy.

'Can I explain after I've changed? And you've changed, because we're dripping on the carpet.'

It wasn't true, the running at vampire speed had dried us up a little already, we just weren't completely dry yet and I wanted to change first. That felt better than to stay in these wet clothes.

He nodded. 'Thanks, you can change in here.' I told him. 'I'll change in my own room.'

I left Jasper to change and pulled my own closet door open. I grabbed a black tank top, blue jeans and a clean bra and panties. After quickly changing into them I opened my door and saw Jasper standing behind it, waiting for me patiently.

'Hey, do they fit?' I asked him. He nodded, spreading his arms so I could take a good look.

I smiled, 'Good, you got your wet clothes?'

'Yes ma'am, what're you gonna do with them?'

I shrugged, 'I'll put them out to dry together with my clothes.'

He nodded, 'I'll help you.'

I chuckled, it wasn't much work, especially not for vampires, but he was being very nice to help. I grabbed my clothes and we went downstairs together, putting the clothes out to dry in the back yard. I didn't often use the washing line, probably because vampires only need to wash their clothes when they get dirty. They won't start to smell because of any body odors. Plus, whenever something was really dirty I mostly just threw it out, having enough time and money to buy new clothes anyway.

When we were done we went back inside, 'So, why does he come and visit you still?' He asked.

I smiled, sitting down on the living room couch. He sat down next to me, not wanting to be rude I guessed. He probably could have stood there the rest of his life, I could as well but I never felt all too comfortable doing that. My human ways again I guess.

'He saw me grow up, he wants to check up on me every now and then. See if I need him for anything, or just talk about things that happened. He lives great adventures and can tell those stories in the most amazing of ways.' I smiled. 'But he doesn't come by often.' I shrugged, 'Whenever he does though he looks like a mess, so I buy clean clothes for him so this place doesn't have to be decontaminated.'

I winked at Jasper and he chuckled, not feeling jealous anymore, at least I thought he didn't. Maybe he was very good at hiding his emotions, I wasn't sure.

'You care about him.' He stated, it wasn't a question but I nodded anyway.

'He's like a second father to me. Taught me to hunt and how to kill so the prey feels as little as possible.'

'What _do_ you hunt?' I raised my eyebrows at him. 'Animals, like you.' I told him as if it was obvious. Then I remembered we hadn't even talked about that subject yet, well not on my part anyway. They'd told me about their lifestyle already, I'd loved to hear it, but somehow they never asked me before. I wondered if they might think I would feel like an outcast if they did. Not that it mattered, I was exactly like them in that way.

He nodded slowly, seeming glad with my answer. I studied him for a second, wondering what it would feel like to kiss him. I bit my lip and turned towards the tv, getting up.

'Want to watch a movie?' I asked him, wondering if he felt what I was feeling. He didn't show if he had felt it though, instead he nodded. I turned on the DVD player by hand and went to sit back down, turning on the tv.

'What movie?' He asked curiously.

'27 dresses.' I said with a shy smile. I don't know why I liked the movie so much, I just did. I'd watched it three times already this month alone, but it never bored me.

I pulled my knees up the couch and placed my head on Jasper's shoulder, so I was lying against him. He put his arm around me and my heart would've gone twice the speed it normally went if it were alive, maybe even three times.

Halfway through the movie I leaned back to see Jasper watching me.

'What?' I asked him.

'Why are we watching this?' he asked with a grimace.

I laughed, ''Cause I like it.'

'You don't have any other movies you like?' He asked.

I grinned, jumping off him and heading over to a cabinet filled with movies. 'I have enough.'

He chuckled as he looked through them. 'I think our clothes should be dry by now, I'll go get them.' I said and skipped outside. When I came back inside he was holding a movie, reading the summary on the back.

'I come bearing gifts.' I said dramatically. He looked up with an amused smile, 'Clothes.'

I threw his clothes at him and laughed, heading upstairs to put my clothes back in my closet. When I came back downstairs he was already wearing his own shorts, but he was still shirtless. I froze when I saw him.

Other than his chiseled chest, that looked like it was part of an art collection of the greek art institute, I saw the scars again. The same scars that occupied his arms and neck were all over his chest. I was staring at him, at the scars, but I didn't miss his face changing into the exact same expression as he'd had this morning, a mix of hope and fear.

I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat, slowly taking a few steps forward so he was standing in reach and I lifted my hand to touch them. He was still studying me, and when I met his eyes I saw a small smile on his lips. I smiled back the same way right before touching the first scar, just below his collar bone. His skin felt warm against mine, the scar was just a bit colder in temperature. He shivered under my touch but I didn't pull away. Instead I traced the scar slowly. When I reached the end of it I lowered my hand back to my side and looked up back into his eyes.

I didn't think before wrapping my arm around his neck and hugging him to me, burrying my face in his neck. I wanted to let tears run for him, but I couldn't. I felt bad though, and I wanted to take the pain he must've felt away from him. All of it.

I felt his arms wrap around me as well, 'You're really not scared..' he whispered.

'Of course not.' I replied. I'd thought he had already been convinced of that, but maybe not. I guess he really thought I was this morning. I thought about how the scars hadn't made me feel sick just now, like they had this morning. Suddenly I realized how close I still was to him, my arms still around his neck.

I backed away, suddenly feeling self concious, and grinned.

'Now put on a shirt before someone sees you like this.' I winked, gesturing at the window. 'Wouldn't want my neighbors to start thinking things.' I said to distract myself from the fact I'd been so close to him while he was shirtless. I was happy I wasn't human right now, otherwise my red head would give me away. Not that my feelings weren't giving me away, they probably were, but he didn't show any signs of feeling what I was feeling. He'd had enough training with his family I guessed.

Suddenly the phone started ringing in the hallway, speak of the devil.

I picked up and greeted my neighbor, who was the only one who I'd given my home number since I moved in. Normally everyone called me on my cellphone, not that I had that with me all the time. Actually I think it was in my room right now, hadn't even brought it with me to school.

'Good evening Mia,' A woman's voice said. 'I was wondering if you could maybe come by and watch the children for a while. I have to go out and run some errands.'

I smiled, 'Yes, of course. I'll be right there.'

'Good, do you need some dinner? I have some leftover pizza if you'd like?' I noticed Jasper, who was wearing his shirt again, chuckling at the offer and I rolled my eyes, 'No mrs. Lenton that's fine, I already ate for the evening.'

'Oh, well ok then. See you soon, bye.'

'Bye.' I said and put the phone down. I was about to turn around to Jasper when I saw a letter lying on the doormat. I frowned as I picked it up, turning it around. My name and address were on it, which was weird because I hadn't told anyone I lived here yet.

Jasper picked up on my surprise and came standing next to me, 'What's going on?' He asked.

I shrugged, throwing the letter on the table next to the door, 'Nothing important, just hadn't expected an answer yet.' I didn't know if he believed me but I hoped he did. I would check the letter later tonight, when I got home from babysitting. I wondered what it was about, who the letter was from. Hopefully it was nothing.

Suddenly Jasper was smirking at me and I pushed the thoughts away as I focused on him.

'What?' I asked him and he laughed.

'Nothing, for some reason I just really see you as a babysitter. It fits you.'

I smiled, 'I'll take that as a compliment.' I laughed and took my keys from the table.

'I'm guessing I can't come with you?' He asked. I eyed him and shook my head, 'No, sorry.'

'Of course I can't...' he muttered, looking pained at the fact. What the hell?

'Jasper,' I stopped him before we left through the front door. He faced me, waiting.

'Why do you think I won't let you come with me?' I asked.

He looked surprised at the question, 'Because I'm unpredictable.' He said, as if it were obvious.

I raised my eyebrows in surprise. Of course I had expected him to be thinking that, but I didn't understand how he could think so little of himself? I really didn't understand.

'That's not the reason.' I told him, making his eyes grow wide. 'The only reason you can't come with me is because I wouldn't want to come to my first babysitting job with a guy, that wouldn't give off the best impression, now would it?'

He stared at me before laughing, 'Seriously? That's the only reason.'

I nodded, 'Only one I can think of.'

He shook his head as if he couldn't believe it. Then he grinned at me, 'Mind if I come and pick you up tomorrow morning?' He asked, jumping to another subject.

'You mean with the car that's still in the parking lot at school?'

He shrugged, 'I'll pick it up.'

I grinned, 'In that case it's fine by me.'

He grinned back, 'Mind me asking what the neighbor thinks your story is?' He asked as we walked out of the house and I closed the door behind me.

I laughed, 'She thinks my dad works outside of the country, and that I decided to not want to travel with him anymore so he's letting me stay in the house by myself.'

Jasper's eyebrows were raised, 'And she doesn't think that is, well, bad parenting.'

I shrugged, 'What can I say, I'm trustworthy.'

He laughed this time. 'You surely are. I'll see you in the morning.' He said with a small wave and then he was gone.

I was pretty sure I was beaming when I went over to the neighbors, thinking about how happy I was that this guy had accepted me, with his family. And the thought of getting picked up by him tomorrow made my stomach do backflips. I loved it. And I think I started to love him.


End file.
